The Absence of Fear

One question I get asked most when I tell people about our adventure living on a sailboat and traveling the world is, “Aren’t you afraid?”  This is often followed by wide eyes when they imagine sailing in the middle of a black night or through a squall.  Or, perhaps they can’t imagine trying to navigate a foreign country where you don’t speak the language or where there has been a history of crime or violence.  The short answer to the question is “no.”

That doesn’t mean I never experience fear.  It means that I choose not to be afraid and live my life in fear.  Of course there are dangers being on a boat in the middle of the ocean or in a remote place with no medical facilities if we were to get sick or injured.  There are probably more dangers driving on a busy highway in Los Angeles.  But, by succumbing to fear all you do is to limit the amazing and soul enriching experiences that you can have in this life.

My biggest challenge in the last three years was overcoming fear in learning to scuba dive.  In my initial dive instruction, I had to do the pool class three times to get past feelings of panic and claustrophobia before I could get out into the ocean.  Once we started traveling and diving, I would hang onto Mike’s hand underwater with a death grip while I worked to control and slow down my breathing so as not to panic.  I had to take Mike’s advice not to look at the depth gage so I wouldn’t freak out about how deep we were.  But, I was determined to dive.  I kept at it, and each dive got easier and easier.   The depth got more comfortable, the current didn’t freak me out, and soon I started to feel like I belonged underwater.

That determination to overcome my fears has paid off with the most amazing underwater experiences this year.  The fabulous visibility in French Polynesia makes it feel like you are diving in an aquarium. And, every island and atoll has different reef fish, pelagics, sharks and corals.  Even when we’ve dove in the same spot on different days, each dive is different.  You never know what you are going to see.

We got out of the marina in Papeete after getting our boat projects done and headed back over to Moorea where we anchored off the reef in Opunohu bay.  Our friends Marcus and Diana on s/v Allora were there and really wanted to go diving with us.  They had just bought some new tanks and dive gear and were anxious to use them.  So, we made a plan, filled the tanks and headed outside the reef to some buoys used by the dive boats.

Marcus and Diana had done that dive earlier in the week before we arrived and had an idea where to proceed.  We descended down the mooring line to about fifty feet in a canyon surrounded by rose coral, which was different from most of the coral reefs we’ve dove so far in French Polynesia.  There were plenty of beautifully colored reef fish around and the occasional black tip reef shark.  But, the stars of the show on this dive were the turtles!

There were huge sea turtles all over the reef.  They were almost camouflaged among the reef just lying there resting.  Several of them let us get really close to them as Diana took pictures.  A couple of them eyed us suspiciously for a few minutes and decided it was better to take off and find a new resting spot.  So, I got some great video of them swimming around.  It was a fabulous dive, and we are excited to go back out on the reef again as there is supposed to be a spot we can view some lemon sharks!

We listened to a podcast recently that had an interesting perspective on the political divide in our country based on psychological make up.  It played soundbites of various politicians and made the observation that some speeches were all about fear and terror where others were about positivity and hope.  The psychologist explained that this was not by accident.  That people really do view the world in different ways.  Some people honestly see threats all around them, whereas others acknowledge crime and danger but look rationally at statistics and so forth.

Right after this, I happened upon a blog post from another cruiser about his experience in Papeete.  It was horribly negative stating that it was full of crime, gangs, graffiti and trash.  He talked about being afraid of walking down the street and his girlfriend hiding the jewelry she was wearing for fear of being robbed.  I couldn’t help reading this and think, “Is he talking about the same place I see in front of me?”  Yeah, there’s crime in Papeete.  I talked about the petty theft at the marina in the last post.  There is also over 50% unemployment, so there is a lot of poverty.  I saw all that, but I also saw a beautiful island with kind people who were just trying to live their lives.  Not everyone was in a gang.  The other sailor may have seen some trash on the street, but I saw incredibly manicured gardens outside people’s homes.  How is it that some people see fear and terror and others see beauty and light?

I disagree with the psychologist that said that people have this inherent nature about being fearful and seeing dangers everywhere they go.  I think we all have a choice about whether to buy into fear and limit our experiences or to embrace life.

We sent off our ballots this week for the mid-term elections in the U.S., and I’m choosing to vote for candidates who do not traffic in fear.  Scaring people, blaming others that look different, speak a different language, practice a different religion or simply have a different outlook on life is not productive.  What an amazing place this would be if we all chose to extinguish unfounded fears and focus on love and hope.

Kenny Chesney is one of my favorite singers, and he has a song with Ziggy Marley called Love for Love City.  (The song and album Songs for the Saints are about the Caribbean islands after the hurricanes.)  I think the lyrics are how I wish all of us, and our elected officials, would speak about our country and how our people should come together and reject the fear mongering…

All I’ve got’s love for love city

All of her people are my people too

Every color, every creed

Together in good times, together in need

All I’ve got’s love for love city

~katie

Tahiti Travails

We started looking for a weather window to head back to Tahiti.  Tahiti is about 90 miles from Huahine, which means it would take us about 18 hours.  Since we can’t make that trip all in daylight, we would leave in the afternoon and arrive the next day mid-morning.  The trip from Huahine to Tahiti is against the eastern trade winds, so the key was to try and find a couple of days where the wind was more from the south, lighter and hopefully not much swell.  The forecast gave us two days to go, otherwise it looked like we were probably going to stay put for at least another week where the wind would be blowing 25 kts on the nose.

We were sad to leave our friends, but we had put it off long enough.  We had to get back to Tahiti!  We left on a beautifully sunny afternoon.  The wind and swell was making for some pleasant sailing for the first few hours, and we had our fingers crossed that we were going to have a beautiful night sail.  That positive attitude quickly soured when the winds died out completely, then shot up to 25 kts, then died back down again, and back up to 17 kts.  We had quite a few squalls overnight that with the shifty wind kept us on our toes.

When we arrived in Tahiti the next morning, we were both pretty tired.  One overnight of sailing always seems to be a bit harder than a multi-day sail where you have the chance to get into the rhythm of shifts and sleeping only a few hours at a time.  And, with the challenging conditions, neither of us got all that much sleep that night.  But, we were pleasantly surprised to find our friends Marcus and Diana on s/v Allora waiting for us as we pulled into the marina in Papeete!  So, we left good friends in Huahine but greeted other good friends in Tahiti.  That is one of the best things about cruising.  We find friends wherever we go!

We had heard on the radio over the few weeks prior that there had been several thefts in the downtown Papeete marina recently.  And, the office manager made us aware of them again when we checked into the marina.  We’ve never had any problems with crime while we’ve traveled, but crime can happen anywhere.  Apparently the thieves would board boats overnight while people were sleeping and grab whatever they could throw in their pockets or backpacks, like cash, sunglasses and cell phones.  So, these weren’t very sophisticated thieves that were taking expensive electronics off boats.  Just your petty thief.

We usually do not lock ourselves in our boat at night.  Our cabin is right next to the companionway stairs as you enter the boat.  It would be really hard for someone to come in our boat without us noticing.  But, we weren’t going to take any chances with the current thefts.  The last thing I’d want to do is wake up to a stranger in my boat!  So, the first night we were in the marina, we had the companionway locked and nothing seemed amiss.  But, when we woke up the next morning, we found dirty black shoe prints on our deck and on the cockpit cushions.  Someone had been on our boat!  I couldn’t believe we didn’t hear them, as they stepped onto the boat right outside our cabin.  But, we were locked in and nothing was stolen.  We found out three boats were boarded that night and at least one was robbed.  The marina has stepped up the security, and there hasn’t been any problems since.  But, we are still sleeping with the companionway locked as well as our spreader lights and cockpit lights on to deter anyone thinking of trying to get on our boat again.  Whew!

The main reason we came into Tahiti was to do some work on the boat.  We haven’t done any real maintenance or projects since we left Ecuador in February, so that is a pretty good run.  When you travel thousands of miles on a boat in 8 months, there are going to be some things that need attention.  First, we had to find someone who welds stainless steel.  We have a somewhat complicated exhaust system for the diesel engine, because the engine sits mid-ships below the water line.  So, the exhaust has to be cooled and travel quite a distance to exit the boat.  Like all things in a salt water environment, things start to fail after awhile.  And, we had a few places that were starting to leak and needed to be re-welded.  Taking apart the exhaust system, having the pieces welded and reinstalling the system (while crossing your fingers that it stopped all the leaks) was a gargantuan task requiring you to twist yourself into a pretzel in a tight space to get all the pieces out.  It was a BIG project, but thankfully it worked.

Next, our sails needed some work.  The sails aren’t that old, but they’ve gotten a lot of use the last three years.  Some of the stitching on the UV covers was coming out, and there were some worn spots that needed to be patched.  We found a great sail loft in Tahiti that did the work for a reasonable cost.  We have a nice sewing machine on board, but without the space to lay out the sails, it just wasn’t possible for us to do the work ourselves.

Our maintenance list also included servicing our outboard engine for the dinghy, changing the oil in the dive compressor and generator, scrubbing down the decks, and polishing the stainless railings and cleats.  We’ve been hard at work everyday making sure Adagio is ready to go for next season.

Being in Papeete, the largest city in French Polynesia, also gives us the luxury of going to the Carrefour! The Carrefour is a large, western style grocery store with any kind of imported food you could imagine, including a lot of French pates, sausages, cheeses, etc.  After shopping mostly at the small magazins in the islands, being able to shop at the Carrefour is like heaven.  But, do not go shopping there hungry!  We made that mistake and came back with way too many French cheeses.  (You can also buy freshly made baguettes and crepes there – ok…this is making me hungry…)

In addition to shopping at the Carrefour, there is a large indoor/outdoor market downtown mainly on Sunday mornings.  The market starts at 4am.  We arrived about 7am and still had a pretty good pick of fresh local produce, including pineapples, papayas, pamplemousse (grapefruit), beautiful lettuces, and these delicious red plantains we recently found.  There are also a lot of prepared foods you can purchase, which are a combination of Chinese, French and Tahitian.  We bought pain du chocolat, chinese pork buns (char siu bao) and chicken shumai.  Inside the market we found roasted pork and a large fish market.  It was pretty awesome.

Now that we’ve gotten the majority of our projects done, we’ve got to figure out where we’re going to leave our boat when we head back to the States next month.  We’ve never had a problem finding marina space, but this year is a bit of a challenge.  More and more boats are staying in French Polynesia through the cyclone season, and there just isn’t marina space for all of them.  Our preference would be to stay in Tahiti, since we have to fly out of here, but so far we’re not having much luck.  We could leave the boat at anchor and pay someone to watch it, but we’ve never done that before.  Or, we could possibly travel to Raiatea or Apataki, but neither of those islands are very close.  It would take flying or possibly taking a commercial boat back to Tahiti if we did that.  So, we’re still on the hunt for a space, but we’re sure it will work out one way or another.  We’ll keep you all updated with our plans.

~katie