The Absence of Fear

One question I get asked most when I tell people about our adventure living on a sailboat and traveling the world is, “Aren’t you afraid?”  This is often followed by wide eyes when they imagine sailing in the middle of a black night or through a squall.  Or, perhaps they can’t imagine trying to navigate a foreign country where you don’t speak the language or where there has been a history of crime or violence.  The short answer to the question is “no.”

That doesn’t mean I never experience fear.  It means that I choose not to be afraid and live my life in fear.  Of course there are dangers being on a boat in the middle of the ocean or in a remote place with no medical facilities if we were to get sick or injured.  There are probably more dangers driving on a busy highway in Los Angeles.  But, by succumbing to fear all you do is to limit the amazing and soul enriching experiences that you can have in this life.

My biggest challenge in the last three years was overcoming fear in learning to scuba dive.  In my initial dive instruction, I had to do the pool class three times to get past feelings of panic and claustrophobia before I could get out into the ocean.  Once we started traveling and diving, I would hang onto Mike’s hand underwater with a death grip while I worked to control and slow down my breathing so as not to panic.  I had to take Mike’s advice not to look at the depth gage so I wouldn’t freak out about how deep we were.  But, I was determined to dive.  I kept at it, and each dive got easier and easier.   The depth got more comfortable, the current didn’t freak me out, and soon I started to feel like I belonged underwater.

That determination to overcome my fears has paid off with the most amazing underwater experiences this year.  The fabulous visibility in French Polynesia makes it feel like you are diving in an aquarium. And, every island and atoll has different reef fish, pelagics, sharks and corals.  Even when we’ve dove in the same spot on different days, each dive is different.  You never know what you are going to see.

We got out of the marina in Papeete after getting our boat projects done and headed back over to Moorea where we anchored off the reef in Opunohu bay.  Our friends Marcus and Diana on s/v Allora were there and really wanted to go diving with us.  They had just bought some new tanks and dive gear and were anxious to use them.  So, we made a plan, filled the tanks and headed outside the reef to some buoys used by the dive boats.

Marcus and Diana had done that dive earlier in the week before we arrived and had an idea where to proceed.  We descended down the mooring line to about fifty feet in a canyon surrounded by rose coral, which was different from most of the coral reefs we’ve dove so far in French Polynesia.  There were plenty of beautifully colored reef fish around and the occasional black tip reef shark.  But, the stars of the show on this dive were the turtles!

There were huge sea turtles all over the reef.  They were almost camouflaged among the reef just lying there resting.  Several of them let us get really close to them as Diana took pictures.  A couple of them eyed us suspiciously for a few minutes and decided it was better to take off and find a new resting spot.  So, I got some great video of them swimming around.  It was a fabulous dive, and we are excited to go back out on the reef again as there is supposed to be a spot we can view some lemon sharks!

We listened to a podcast recently that had an interesting perspective on the political divide in our country based on psychological make up.  It played soundbites of various politicians and made the observation that some speeches were all about fear and terror where others were about positivity and hope.  The psychologist explained that this was not by accident.  That people really do view the world in different ways.  Some people honestly see threats all around them, whereas others acknowledge crime and danger but look rationally at statistics and so forth.

Right after this, I happened upon a blog post from another cruiser about his experience in Papeete.  It was horribly negative stating that it was full of crime, gangs, graffiti and trash.  He talked about being afraid of walking down the street and his girlfriend hiding the jewelry she was wearing for fear of being robbed.  I couldn’t help reading this and think, “Is he talking about the same place I see in front of me?”  Yeah, there’s crime in Papeete.  I talked about the petty theft at the marina in the last post.  There is also over 50% unemployment, so there is a lot of poverty.  I saw all that, but I also saw a beautiful island with kind people who were just trying to live their lives.  Not everyone was in a gang.  The other sailor may have seen some trash on the street, but I saw incredibly manicured gardens outside people’s homes.  How is it that some people see fear and terror and others see beauty and light?

I disagree with the psychologist that said that people have this inherent nature about being fearful and seeing dangers everywhere they go.  I think we all have a choice about whether to buy into fear and limit our experiences or to embrace life.

We sent off our ballots this week for the mid-term elections in the U.S., and I’m choosing to vote for candidates who do not traffic in fear.  Scaring people, blaming others that look different, speak a different language, practice a different religion or simply have a different outlook on life is not productive.  What an amazing place this would be if we all chose to extinguish unfounded fears and focus on love and hope.

Kenny Chesney is one of my favorite singers, and he has a song with Ziggy Marley called Love for Love City.  (The song and album Songs for the Saints are about the Caribbean islands after the hurricanes.)  I think the lyrics are how I wish all of us, and our elected officials, would speak about our country and how our people should come together and reject the fear mongering…

All I’ve got’s love for love city

All of her people are my people too

Every color, every creed

Together in good times, together in need

All I’ve got’s love for love city

~katie